Who is this girl?!

Not in control …

I always had a small group of friends that I considered as my family. If you are part of my circle, that means my ass really like you! But through the years it came to the forefront that I really gave people too much of my life.

“This was the beginning of realising I was lost”

Whenever a friend wasn’t available for me when I needed, it took me to a sad place. You know how you can feel when somebody don’t have or make time for you. “They don’t care about me, like how I care about them”. Yeah … yeah … I know I’m being dramatic, but at the time this is how I would feel.

At this moment you may been thinking like “what does this has to do with you being single?” Well let’s have a talk!

In 2011 a situation took place with a person that was very close to me. When the situation took place, I realized how much I gave someone else the power for my happiness. It wasn’t something new that I knew, but when this person was moving into another direction, it really broke me down!

“How would my life be without this person?!”’

If I think back at the situation, I’m really shaking my head, because I was really depended on this person. It was crazy, but that is what you will get when you think that you need another person to be happy. For some years I was in ‘dark’ place. The situation really took a hold of me and it was all because I wasn’t true to myself. I was dealing with my feelings but on the flipped side I really wasn’t. I was spending my time with other not ‘irrelevant’ stuff or I was forcing myself to go to bed early, so that I could end my day.

“Emotionally, spiritually & mentally I was broken”

I knew that I had to change my way of living. This wasn’t a healthy situation and the worse part of it all, I was dealing it all by myself. I’m a star in holding things back and make it seem that everything is okay. Off course my parents and a friend where like ‘yo, what’s up with you, but I brushed them off every time”. As long as I kept a smile on my face, nobody would know that I was dying inside.

Sometimes a situation needs to happen to realize that things need to change! And my ow my I had a lot of changing to do!

“Let the journey begin!”

My life My Journey
Eemsdiary

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